Thai Match-Making

Thailand is so full of women, that it surely must be effortless to meet them. I hear guys are pulling them off Tinder left and right! Thai Friendly is the local version of Tinder and is also full of local women, easy right? This is such a loaded statement, so let me unload it for you. Thai-Match Making is a minefield of despair.

Thailand at a Glance

• Thailand is a beautiful place, it has culture, climate, beaches, and beautiful women, at least I think so.
• Yes, Thailand is full of single women partly due to some cultural changes where women are following careers instead of marriage, are independent—and also due to the substantial number of homosexual and transgender people which leaves a surplus of unpair bonded females
• Most Thai women are not interested in foreigners as they do not speak the foreigner’s language and/or have no interest in dating someone from another culture/race. It is similar in the West, I grew up in a small town in the Midwest of the USA that was ethnically 95% Scandinavian. If a white girl dated a black guy, Indian or Mexican, she was run out of town, labeled a filthy slut, and brought shame to her family. Why would this be any different in Thailand? People are people.
• To be fair, most of Thailand society does not regard foreigners who want to mate with Thai ladies very well. It is just the way it is.
  • In the USA—which girls are more likely to be interested in different cultures and skin colors? Those in the universities and cities! That’s where all the liberal people are, right? It’s the same here.
  • Age is another issue—the modern Thai woman is no different than a Western woman. A 20+ year age gap is not acceptable.
  • By the way, there is a pecking order I have found for Thai ladies. Europe and the USA are far away from home, and it is difficult to obtain marriage/fiancé visas. Most of the Thai girls who are interested in foreigners prefer Koreans and Japanese. These two countries are really well off, both are wealthy (in comparison), it’s easier to get a visa, and it’s close to home.
  • Also, the culture is similar to Thailand, well more similar than Europe or North America, anyway.
• A lot of Thai women are busy! They work substantial hours and usually live far away from their offices, have long commutes, etc. It’s not practical to date them. You will have very little time to spend with each other.
• Tinder in Thailand is full of prostitutes, transgenders, those looking for “financial support” (another form of prostitution), the mentally ill, and “bad girls” who are just looking for a fun time, not a relationship

Thai Match-making

It’s not as easy as you think to meet a normal quality woman in Thailand. I really, really tried, and because I couldn’t get a single girl to even go out with me using all available means that I had (online dating apps and real-life connections), I turned to a match-making service as my last hope. I was thinking maybe these people could find someone for me. I had never used something like this in the past, so, hey, it’s worth a try as nothing else was working.

Also, keep in mind that this experience occurred mid-COVID pandemic in Thailand, if you weren’t here let me fill you in. Unlike the West, we had REAL lockdowns, and they lasted REALLY LONG. A real lockdown is when everything is closed and there’s a curfew in place where you aren’t even allowed to leave your house after say, 8:00 PM. That’s a lockdown. To and from work only, mask mandates EVERYWHERE. Not for a month, not for 2 or even 3 months. For more than a YEAR. When they finally lifted the lockdown, there was a few months of freedom, and then another surge came and another lockdown. No bars or alcohol off and on for about 2 years.

Pattaya had a curfew in effect where if you lived on the Darkside (the other side of Sukhumvit – there used to be very few street lights, hence the Darkside), you needed a special pass to get across Sukhumvit. This was essential for most families as there are very few grocery stores on the Darkside.

So why so severe? Because people were scared shitless of this disease. Thailand had seen what was possible with the Asian Flu virus before and they were taking no chances. People were DYING. Thai people generally put family #1 and many live in multigenerational households. If Somchai goes out and messes up, partying with his friends, and gets COVID-19, he brings it back gives it to his grandparents, and KILLS THEM. So, how many girls want to meet a dirty farang for dates during this period and bear the burden of killing their elders?

It did not help matters that the minister of health in Thailand in March 2020, blamed dirty farangs for spreading Covid-19 in Thailand.

The Agencies I looked at

I spent a year talking to girls online, hundreds of hours wasted. Not a single date. What did I learn? Lots of prostitutes, ladyboys, nutbags, and broken-ass people on the internet. Online dating is such a bad idea, don’t do it. Please, I beg you, don’t.

After a year of trying everything to find a girl and being unable to do so, I finally turned to matchmaking agencies in Thailand. Most of these are ridiculously priced, wanting anywhere from $2-3k USD per month and offering packages up to 15k USD for 6 months. I met with all the major brands in Bangkok and it’s all the same bullshit, a crooked and corrupt business that preys on the desperate (why else would you be turning to a matchmaker?). You see their offices in expensive buildings with expensive rent. “The girls have to pay too, it shows they are serious.” Yeah, right, Thai girls are paying $3000 USD per month for a dating service? I don’t believe it. All they have to do to get dates is wear a tank top with no bra and go outside.

The Alphabet Soup of Agencies

Matchmaking agencies come in different shapes and sizes. I went to Agency A in Sukhumvit which claimed their clients were mostly doctors, attorneys, lawyers, etc. Hi-so people looking for other Hi-so people to have little cute twin babies (twins are all the Thai Hi-so rage) they can dress up in matching outfits and plaster on social media. Agency A claims that most of their clients are Thais seeking Thais, but they accept farangs. They require some sort of background check prior to signing up.

You can pay a ‘la carte per date, I think it was around 8000 THB, or you can sign up for a subscription where you get so many months or dates for 70,000 THB+. No guarantees, you don’t get access to the database in some packages, others you do. If you want a ‘personal matchmaker’ you have to pay more. All in all, if you are expecting a matchmaker to sit down, figure out your personality and what you want in a mate, then cross reference their extensive database and interviews with other high potential mates and FIND you the wife of your dreams, good luck.

My experience going to Agency B, another big expensive one (460k THB for 6 months I think, with an extensive discount applied, special for me) in Sukhumvit was not much different. I sat down for an hour or two with one of their employees and told them my problems. Why can’t I find anyone? The matchmaker claimed she could work with me, just needed to pay first. If I wanted to “try it out” we could work something out for 50k THB for a month. By the way, in these offices, they have calculators and are constantly playing with numbers to see if they can get you to bite. I don’t think they’re affording the rent in these towers without some big invoices.

There is the equivalent of “It’s Just Lunch” from the USA in Thailand. Equally expensive. I did not engage in this one, as I had friends from the USA who used these services and blew thousands of dollars with no results.

Ladies from the Northeast

There is a rich history in Isaan where prostitutes of years gone by have provided a better quality of life for thousands of families over the last few decades. Those who wind up with farang have it all, new cars, motorcycles, etc. And the guys are nice, not drunks, and don’t beat them. That’s a win for the Isaan gals.

In fact, it is referred to as winning the lottery – the Farang Lottery. Do all of these relationships work out, of course not, but there are enough success stories to seem like a fairy tale for those who are left behind in poverty.

Note: There are many wonderful ladies from the Northeast of Thailand and many of my friends are married to them. Not every lady from there belongs in the bar or is trying to find a sponsor. See below.

Agency C in Pattaya

There are also small matchmaking agencies. I solicited Agency C in Pattaya Thailand. This outfit hosts annual or bi-annual events where foreigners come into the country for a week and there’s a lineup of gals to socialize with. These are very much mail-order bride operations. The matchmakers will find desperate single mothers and other women across the country (mostly in the northeast –‘Isaan’ rural areas) who would do anything to change the quality of their lives.

With Agency C you also get some personalized service through video calls or emails, the matchmaker will send you matches, usually by email and maybe you get access to the database to browse. I met with my matchmaker in person in Pattaya and spoke for several hours, her English was probably 75% or so. I would suspect a TOEIC score of 600, lucky I could speak Thai.

Agency C usually advertises on social media platforms like Facebook, TikTok, etc. They are sweeping the field looking for these desperate Thai girls who have given up on making a life in Thailand and are willing to entertain the possibility of an old Farang man for security. These are girls in their 30s and up, who feel they are getting older and running out of time. These ads will also target those who are specifically looking to leave Thailand.

In case you didn’t know, Thai passports are one of the lowest-ranked in the world. It’s really difficult for them to get visas and visit other countries, and many are unhappy at home with the poverty and political situation. They want desperately to move to a foreign country just for a change and are specifically seeking a nice gullible farang for this purpose.

I have also seen smaller agencies in Starbucks, of all places, meeting with mostly Japanese and Korean customers. It’s usually a Thai girl from the company showing photos of all the girls to the men on a tablet and allowing them to choose. I have also seen “dates” and “meet and greets” where the agency employee is there to translate for the men. They meet the girl and can’t speak a lick of Thai and usually no English either. I’m not sure, but my feeling is that these Korean and Japanese men are much more likely to make impulsive decisions on “paying for a wife” without much interaction. The girl is chosen based on age, body, and shape only. I’m not sure if this is culturally accepted in these countries but it seems like a bad idea to me.

Thailand internet Laws

Did you know that there are laws in Thailand also where you can’t write bad reviews about any business? They can sue you for defamation and you’ll get in trouble real quick these days with the police, especially as a foreigner (can you say deport?) So, effectively there is no way to even know how BAD an agency is. My feeling is that the actual reviews are much lower than what is advertised.

Maybe you do get what you pay for

I opted for a lower-cost option and wound up engaging Agency C. The lady claimed she had 20,000 girls in her database. I spent about 2 hours with her, telling her I wanted a mature girl, a self-starter, independent, dedicated, hard-working, empathetic, someone like me. Someone who was going to put effort, blood sweat, and tears into a relationship—something that we could build together. I also specifically stated that I did not want airhead “tai luup” (tai luup = photographs) girls who are only interested in generating social media content. This irritates the hell out of me.

Speaking of tai luup-ing, the matchmaker pulled out a DSLR did a photo shoot with me, and put together my profile that day. I was now ready to be emailed or Line’d off to my potential mates. Line – massive Japanese application all over Asia, very similar to WhatsApp.

She said it would be no problem to find me a match with these 20,000 girls in her database.  A month went by, and nothing was coming in, so I started to ride her ass a little demanding some matches and then we had 5 results out of 20,000. That was it. She even told me there was no reason to continue the subscription any further, as she wouldn’t be able to produce any other matches for me. The limiting factor that really throttled the database filter. Two points: I wanted someone who lived near me, either in Bangkok or Pattaya, and “no single moms”. With everyone in the database being a single mom in Isaan some 10 hours’ drive away, that winnowed it down. The cost for 1 month of Agency C’s service was 15,000 THB.

By the way, she said I was the only client she ever had who actually lived in Thailand. All of her male suitors were old men who lived overseas. So let’s get to the matches!

The Winners from Agency C

#1. Girl 1 worked down the street from where I lived in Bangkok at one of the malls at a cosmetic salon. So, she was close, easy to meet, right age range I specified (25-35ish), and in her photos looked attractive. Let’s meet, I said. The matchmaker contacted the girl and got back to me–sorry, she said, this girl actually is shacking up with some guy in the UK at the moment and is no longer in Thailand. Keeping that database up to date I see.

#2. Girl 2 was what my mother called ‘The Joker’, as she looked very much like Joker from Batman. Had some major surgery done on her chin for that pointed maniacal look. The Joker wanted to meet, she really wanted to meet, so we arranged to meet on Valentine’s Day for coffee. That morning, the matchmaker contacted me and said The Joker was sick and couldn’t make it. I then asked for her contact information, and I tried to arrange another date with her.

Sponsorship

She said, well, she wants to meet me, but could I wait a month? Let me decipher this for you. When a girl is putting you off for a month, it means she’s got another beau in the country that she’s fucking. When he leaves, it’s your turn to hot bunk. There is NO OTHER REASON in the world, that one must wait A MONTH to meet—unless you’re out of the country or in a hospital bed on a ventilator.

This is what is known as SPONSORSHIP here. It is quite common. Thai ladies will line up different sponsors who she will struggle to keep actively sponsoring her.

The ladies will keep the sponsors separate and will hopefully have them visit in Thailand at different times of the year.

The older ladies will teach the younger ladies how to do this. It is an accepted practice and if you do happen to connect with a Thai lady one of the first things you must do if you are planning on keeping here is purge the other sponsors. She will not want this to happen, and the process will be difficult, so you should be sure before attempting the sponsorship purge.

#3. Girl 3 was an educated girl; I believe she had an MBA and was working in an office. I contacted her on Line (her ID was provided by the matchmaker) and she ignored my messages. After a few weeks of being completely ignored, I poked the matchmaker and said this girl won’t even respond to me (by the way, that’s NORMALLY how Thai girls interact with me online. They just don’t respond) Eventually the Matchmaker called her, got through, and said why aren’t you talking to your match? She said she was really busy.

Ok—let me tell you what really busy is because I’ve lived it. I used to work 20 hours a day and sleep 2, I did this for 6-7 days a week for 3 years with very little time off at all. Changing into clean clothes and showering was a luxury. I would have certainly made a massive effort, had I had the opportunity to talk with or meet a girl during this time period of my life. I call bullshit, she wasn’t that busy she couldn’t respond to a message. Nobody is. If you’re ignoring someone, it’s because you’re either not interested or trying to put them off.

Apparently, the matchmaker calling her caught her attention. She finally did respond and told me that her brother had just graduated from university, and she was very busy organizing celebratory parties and so forth. She asked, could I wait a month or so until things calmed down and then she could meet me?

Again—guys, this is very clear. Her John is in Bangkok and staying longer than anticipated. She can’t chat with me around John, because he’d see it on her phone, so what she does is goes into her phone’s notification settings and blocks notifications from Line so they don’t show up. Then she also ‘mutes’ my chat and ignores me. When John goes back to the UK, then she’ll have time for me. Most of these girls on these ‘matchmaking’ platforms are like this. They’re playing multiple guys on and off that the matchmaker feeds them. Some are getting a little cash from each man, they prefer men who are not ‘in the know’ and residing in a foreign country as it’s easier for them to manage. If they are in Thailand, well, it becomes a problem.

These girls aren’t looking for true love or a husband and family, they are looking for suckers and have found the ultimate source. That’s the primary issue here is the mismatching of motives. One party is sincere (and potentially desperate), and the other is not and taking advantage of the situation. A legitimate match-making business should do its best to eliminate this type of behavior, but when all you care about is fluffing a database with photos of pretty girls you can then charge old Farangs a ridiculous sum of money each month to browse, … Beware.

Girl #4 was another one who was unresponsive, and to be honest, she was not attractive at all and too old for me as I wanted to have a family. She never responded, and I never pushed.

We have a Winner Folks

Girl #5 looked cute, was the right age/profile, and actually responded to me. She tried to pull the same shit with “I’m so busy I can’t meet”, but I pushed her and said either you’re interested or not—meet it or beat it. She agreed to meet, and so started the romance, the most miserable 8 months of my life.

This girl was attractive (at least I thought so), feminine, and just really clicked into my wheelhouse. She was everything I wanted in a woman. We spent the first few dates just discussing life goals. I very clearly laid out what I wanted in a relationship, and where I was in my life, and she said she was on board.

Turns out, this girl was pure and concentrated evil. I will spare the details of the 8 months of torture and misery, but I will say she would be clinically diagnosed as a sociopathic narcissistic cu_t. She enjoys torturing people and watching them suffer, sort of like those sick people who break pet rabbits’ legs and burn them with a hot soldering iron. That’s her. I want to be very clear here also, I am not “making this sound funny” or being sarcastic, I am stating observed, real-life facts based on the experience that I had.

We broke up 3 times and would fight constantly. She would do everything in her power to yo-yo the relationship, treating me like absolute trash to the point it caused a massive fight or I broke up with her, then promising to change and luring me back because she knew I had spent so much time trying to find someone, and by nature am a hard-working person that doesn’t give up on things. At some point, you have to realize you can’t fix the crazy and evil.

For reference, I was not the first victim. This girl had spent a few months (a year or more she said) in Korea with some guy who came to Thailand and picked her up as a mail-order bride. I can only imagine the suffering he went through with that bitch around him at his house. At least we weren’t living together. Initially, she lied to me about this and said she went to Korea to study Korean Language and “met a boyfriend” while she was there, but I eventually extracted the true story. She also dated some poor Thai dude back when she was in her 20s and that didn’t work out, because “they didn’t have enough money to get married”.

“I was the problem,” she said, how could she be the problem, when she clearly had such long-lasting relationships and was almost married? I finally got rid of her completely out of my life and it’s been better since.

My Summary of Thai Match-Making

• DO NOT pay the upfront ridiculous fees for matchmaking services, these are negotiable, but it’s priced out at the same rate as what you’d pay in the West. If you do plan to head down the road of matchmakers, carefully vet them first. It’s going to be very difficult with the lack of ability to write bad reviews, but when people are being screwed out of thousands of dollars, I’m sure they will complain somewhere that you can find online. Push them as hard as you can down in price because really, you’re getting very little for what you are paying.
• I would suggest paying “a la carte” versus the monthly subscriptions. With the subscription, there is no guarantee of matches—so you could be out of tens of thousands of baht with nothing to show for it. Although it’s expensive to spend $200+ per date, it’s probably best for your sanity in the end.
• If you really just need to find a mail-order bride then I guess go ahead and use these matchmakers, but you might be just as effective finding your new low-class girl using a website like Thai Friendly for a hell of a lot less money. Your mileage may vary. As I have never tried the more expensive high-end Hi-SO outfits, I can’t speak to what you might solicit out of these.
  • We already established that Thai women generally would not be interested in a farang, unless they were after something. So, what is it exactly then that Thai women want?
    • Money (or the lifestyle a lot of money brings)
    • Security (that money brings)
    • A mixed-race baby that will become a celebrity or otherwise financially successful and create money and security
    • The ability to live abroad in a different country
    • An emotional punching bag and/or someone to torture
• If you have matches blowing you off and refusing to meet, know that they’ve got something else on the line. Ditch them and move on, even if you wind up pushing them hard enough, they squeeze in a 2-hour meet while John is away, you have basically landed a serial manipulator and will wind up like John at some point.
• JUST because you met through a matchmaking agency, doesn’t mean any real “match-making” took place. A girl agreed to meet you, period. Do not think this is your destined mate. Be cautious, alert, and aware. Figure out her motives up front and it’ll save you pain in the future.